Trinetra Haldar Weaves Her Love for Sarees into Words at Shillong’s Spoken Fest

December 09th, 2024: Kommune’s Spoken Fest debuted in Shillong (Meghalaya) with a spectacular first edition, hosted in partnership with Meghalaya Tourism. The event drew an impressive crowd, captivated by the city’s breathtaking beauty and the creative energy. Among the many talented artists, Trinetra Haldar Gummaraju—a doctor, actor, and passionate advocate for gender issues—delivered her enchanting first-ever spoken word performance, leaving the audience spellbound.

Trinetra graced the Spoken Fest stage with a heartfelt narrative about her “love affair” with a six-yard piece of non-judgmental armor: the saree. With poignant nostalgia, the actress recounted how, as a five-year-old, she would secretly adorn a saree from her mother’s closet, relishing those stolen moments of self-expression.

She painted a vivid picture of her childhood, describing how she’d build makeshift castles with pillows, lay sarees on the floor as a red carpet, and drape herself in the last piece of silk, sitting on her throne as the queen of her queendom. These cherished moments allowed her to live in a world where she felt free and powerful.

Trinetra candidly shared how she lived between two worlds until a life-changing encounter with transgender individuals when her brother was born. Like many children, she initially felt apprehensive as they sang and clapped, but what struck her most was their defiant pride. Despite enduring mistreatment, they waved their pallus like flags of freedom. In them, Trinetra saw a reflection of herself, and the pieces of her identity began to fall into place, shaping the woman she is today.

This love affair with the saree endured through the darkest moments of her life, becoming her refuge when the world hurled slurs her way. Those childhood playdates with sarees became a sanctuary, helping her shut out the noise and find solace.

As Trinetra grew, the internet became an unexpected ally in this romance, supporting her journey of self-discovery and empowerment. It played a pivotal role in her triumphant coming out in 2018 as a woman. Marking this milestone, she purchased her first saree with her hard-earned money—a moment of profound personal victory. Reflecting on its significance, she said, “It might be the most beautiful thing I own, and it is also the most faithful lover I’ve ever had.”

Talking about her relationship with sarees during the spoken piece, Trinetra further added, “My pallu doesn’t use the wrong pronouns, my pleats don’t care for what’s between my legs, this blouse doesn’t say “choli ke peeche kya hai,” or touch me without consent, or leave me on read for two weeks. It holds every version of me, all scars—surgical or otherwise—warmly, tenderly, and with respect. When my lovers left, my saree stayed.”

Trinetra also paid tribute to her trans ancestors, reflecting on the legacy they left behind. She spoke of how the saree is imbued with the blood, sweat, and tears of those who fought battles on the streets, paving the way for her to stand tall today—out of the closet and proudly wearing the first saree she bought. To her, the saree is far more than fabric; it is her greatest inheritance, a symbol of her pride, and the purest expression of her joy.

In a tucked-away corner of Shillong, artists, poets, and musicians found a haven to showcase their craft, changing the world one story, one word, and one note at a time. The festival served as a testament to the power that words and stories hold, transcending cultural and geographical boundaries. The festival provided a safe space for the wordsmiths to expand the already infinite world of words and a nourishing cultural experience that the state has to offer to the attendees.